Websters defines champion as "a winner of first prize or first place in a competition; one who shows marked superiority." This is a very accurate definition, and the accuracy’s validation is backed up by the fact that Webster is widely regarded as the go-to institution for anything concerning English language and grammar. Fuck Webster. Fuck his big-ass books too. My definition of champion is: “me.”
With that said, being a champion makes me a sort of "jack-of-all-trades." Besides being an amazing writer, an intellectual genius, a sexual expert, a gifted athlete, and an all around non-fuck giver, I'm also a talented musician. So I'm going to share with you guys a song I made, based on the true events from my life. I play all the instruments, sing, and produce the track, because a Champion doesn't need help, he can carry the team to victory on his back.
The song is a re-telling of the events of the last night I shared with an ex-girlfriend. She was one of my first real girlfriends, and it was before I realized how much of a champion I am. I'm not sure why she broke up with me, maybe it was the binge drinking, random acts of explosive anger, or the blatant flirting with other girls right in front of her. Anyways, here its:
I hope you enjoyed my ballad. I'll continue to post different types of music and video that I create in between my classic stories and Hall of Champions inductions. Well, I gotta go, my forty's gettin warm, see ya soon.